Botany Bay

The neighborhood Robin was driving through looked vaguely familiar to me.  The road ran along Botany Bay and although the architecture was typical for Sydney with plenty of red tile roofs and brick buildings there were also a number of newer homes that were obviously the result of the reconstruction of houses built decades before that previously stood on the building lots.  As she guided her vehicle into a parking space I reconnoitered we were in Sans Souci near the St. George Sailing Club.   Many years ago there was a restaurant/pub by the name of "MacMaughlins" at exactly this spot where I knew I had been before but it was no longer evident.  As we exited the vehicle and started walking north along the footpath bordering the bay I reckoned 30 years of evolution in this neighborhood may have changed the veneer but not the character.  Stately Cook Pines still bordered the walkway and the innumerable sailing yachts of every size docked in the nearby slips stirred memories of warm days watching the sailors deftly guiding their vessels through the calm waters.  It was chilly and overcast this Monday afternoon as we walked along first into the formidable wind and later with it at our back.  Very few boats were availing themselves of the gratuitous energy provided by mother nature.  A few other pedestrians were out on the walkway.

As we walked along we spoke about a number of different topics:  That we would give Dr. Choi and Dr. Harvey an opportunity to back up their commitment to get to the bottom of what caused Geoff to die so suddenly;  how we thought Melissa was dealing with the reality that her big and only brother was now gone.  Geoff and Melissa had always been very close with Geoff acting as Melissa's protector when he thought she needed it or when Melissa wanted it.  This next period of time was going to be very difficult for her we agreed.  Just how unbelievable this turn of events was to us and how difficult it was to understand that our son would no longer be a part of our lives, that we would never see, touch or hear him again and just how terribly sad we were about that.  At one point, as we walked along, I was visibly upset and was probably rambling on about the situation and hopelessness that I felt.  Robin, next to me as we strode, directed a question:  "Do you feel like God is punishing you?"  Although the question caught me a little off-guard I responded with what I felt, that on some level I thought I was being punished but that the punishment certainly didn't fit whatever crime it was that I committed.  I kept asking myself  "Why our son?  Why now?" but of course there never is an answer that can be relied upon to any question that uses the term "Why".

As the darkness started to dull the horizon we headed back to the car and then to Bexley North.  When we entered the house we found Candi and Mag busily preparing dinner for the group that was assembled at Robin's that evening.  Robin had purchased fresh fish earlier in the day and she helped Candi with the preparation and cooking of the Barramundi and prawns.  While waiting for the meal to be readied Luke called my mobile phone to remind me of the time we needed to be at WN Bull the following morning and to let me know he would be picking Candi and me up at the townhouse in Darlinghurst and accompanying us to the viewing.  Apparently only Candi and I would be viewing Geoff's body the following day.  The others all preferred to remember him as they saw him last.  I knew I had to see him again and I had no hesitation about it.  We had made no public announcement about the viewing and had no desire to allow it for anyone outside our immediate family.  Since the funeral would be in a Catholic Church the casket would be closed for the service according to the Church's rules.

It seemed everyone at the table thought the meal was excellent.  After we finished our dinner Robin and Melissa made yet another round trip to Darlinghurst to drop us off for the night.  Candi and I spent a few minutes together discussing the events of the day and Candi's happiness that Tanner's birthday had seemingly gone so well.  I readied myself for bed, popped my allotted 1 Advil PM and headed up the stairway to try to get some badly needed sleep.  I picked up the book I started the night before and began reading where I had left off but my mind was wandering.  What would this experience at the funeral home be like seeing my son in his coffin?  Was I going to be able to deliver the eulogy at his service now that I had committed myself to doing that?  How were we all going to be able to move forward with our lives without our dear Geoffrey?  I vaguely remember hearing the raindrops on the aluminum above the ceiling as I drifted off.



Botany Bay, St. George Sailing Club, St. George Hospital, Bexley North