Darling Harbour

I rose on the morning of Wednesday the 13th of October near what had become my usual 3:45 a.m. or so.  I moved downstairs for my coffee and grabbed my printed copy of the eulogy I was to deliver at Geoff's service later that day.  I read the words over and over making ever so slight changes here and there with my pen.  I added an opening paragraph because it occurred to me I needed to thank those that took the time to honor our Geoff.  I spent some time in self-talk building up my resolve to deliver the speech with the dignity my only son deserved.  As dawn broke, I grabbed my mobile phone and headed out for my daily call to Mitzi in California and then my grocery shopping.  I knew I needed to occupy myself to relieve the tension that would surely build up during the first part of this day.  Candi and I had spoken about taking a longer than normal walk this morning and then having breakfast at the little coffee shop we had enjoyed so much in Paddington a few days earlier.  When I returned from my grocery shopping and after a few minutes at the internet cafe I woke Candi.  She had a quick cup of coffee and then laced on her running shoes after dawning her sweats; we headed out the front door and started walking toward Hyde Park.

Darlinghurst to Darling Harbour

When we reached the park I suggested we head toward Darling Harbour.  I didn't tell Candi why I was drawn to do that and we marched along in our sweat outfits competing with all those dressed for business for space on the foot path.  After a good while we crossed under the freeway packed with commuters and entered the harbour area.  When Geoff and Melissa were much younger we used to spend time in Darling Harbour at the various venues.  The Harbour area started to be redeveloped in the 1980's to be a recreational, tourist and pedestrian precinct.  Darling Harbour had been part of the railway consolidation department but was felt to be in an inferior location to be able to continue to operate in that manner efficiently.  As a result it became a very large urban renewal project which continues to this day.  Geoff used to love to visit "SegaWorld", a video game oriented amusement park that closed in 2000.  The district also houses the Sydney Aquarium, Powerhouse Museum, Sydney Wildlife World among other attractions with restaurants, parks and pedestrian walkways separating the venues and various marinas.  We made many trips to the district over the years.

Candi and I wandered through the Harbour and I would point out the different places where Geoff and I had been in the past.  At the furthest end from where we entered Darling Harbour lies the Sheraton Four Points Hotel which is the last place I saw Geoff in 2009.  To enter the hotel we walked past the doors of the "Dundee Arms" pub which is affiliated with the hotel.  Geoff and I had occasionally visited the pub.  If it was available, the pub would show the live feed of American Major League Baseball games on the big screen televisions.  With his early roots in America and growing up playing baseball in California as well as on club teams in Sydney, Geoff still had a great love for baseball and he always liked to watch a few innings of whatever game was being broadcast.  Given the relative early hour, the doors of the pub were not yet open, so I wasn't able to provide a tour for Candi except through the glass doors and windows.

We then walked toward the main entrance to the hotel and stepped inside with the bellman holding the door open.  This was the hotel where Mitzi and I spent our time in Sydney the previous year and the memories of Geoff that flooded over me once I was within the confines of the building were overwhelming.  As I have mentioned before, one of the most vivid memories I have of my son is of him standing in the doorway of our room in this hotel after he had made his way there on the train from North Sydney, displaying his incredible smile.  I walked toward the elevators with the intent to ride up to one of the floors with guest rooms so that I could, at least, see with my own eyes a doorway I was only able to visualize.  As I approached the elevator bank my emotions took over and I knew I could not make that trip to the higher floors.  I'm sure Candi thought I was losing my mind as I was standing in the lobby of this very busy hotel weeping.  I told her what was upsetting me and she did her best with words to try to comfort me.  Not for lack of effort it had no effect.

We then decided we needed to head back to Darlinghurst, via Paddington, so we began walking in the general direction from which we had come.  As we exited the grounds of the Sheraton my mobile phone was ringing.  Carri was on the telephone returning an earlier call I had made that morning but was only able to leave a voice mail.  I had wanted to check in with her to let her know how Candi and I were getting along and to make sure she knew I would be thinking about her on this most difficult day.  With the cacophony of the morning Central Business District traffic our conversation was challenging and I felt a little frustrated when I said goodbye.  I then remembered that I needed to get some cash from an ATM as to have a suitable offering for Father Xavier when that time came later in the day.  I was comfortable with my directions back to Darlinghurst while navigating our way up Liverpool Street but then I spotted a bank with an ATM that was compatible with my debit card and made a right hand turn toward the machines.  After conducting my business I walked away from the ATM with Candi in the opposite direction from which we arrived.  Candi probably thought I knew where I was headed but reality is, I was mistaken.  Although I felt I had a good general sense of direction I lead us through neighborhoods that I did not recognize and I started to feel a little panicked that we were headed the wrong way.  My anxiety started rising as I envisioned being late for Geoff's service because I had gotten us lost.  I'm sure my pace started to quicken and Candi interrupted our march with the query "Dad, do you know where you are going?"  I had to admit to her I felt a little disoriented and she reminded me that her police officer instincts wouldn't allow for it and she took over the lead.  I think we made one left turn and walked a few blocks and quickly were on the right path.  I followed Candi the rest of the morning.

We stopped at the little sidewalk cafe that Candi had come to enjoy in Paddington and consumed our breakfast watching the world go by; local residents walking their dogs; officers from Victoria Barracks out for their coffee breaks; Mothers out shopping with their children safely in school.  We walked back to the townhouse stopping at a couple of women's clothing stores along the way, looking for bargains.  We made it back with about an hour to spare before we were to be picked up by the driver from WN Bull.  I left the bathroom for Candi to use first and made my way up stairs to make sure my clothes were in order for the rest of the day.