So It Begins

As Robin and I made our way up the center aisle between the church pews it was obvious there was quite a large group already seated.  The benches in Our Lady of Fatima narrow as the aisle approaches the altar and sitting straight in front of us, like a monolith at the end of the walk, was the Tasmanian Blackwood Timber Coffin with the Satin Finish that held the body that was our son.  The casket had already been placed in front before anyone was allowed in the church and was situated as Patsy Healy had previously represented, with Geoff's feet toward the altar.  At the end of the aisle, just before the casket, was the narrowest of rows, only able to accommodate Robin and me.  The sanctuary was typically austere, as is the Catholic fashion, and Geoff's coffin was draped with the predominantly green flower arrangement we selected at WN Bull and adorned with photos and some of his personal articles that Melissa and Jo had provided from Geoff's belongings, including the stereo headphones he used in his D.J. activities.  The casket was closed according to Catholic Church protocol.

Behind and to the side of us sat Luke and Anita, Shirley, Melissa, Candi, Jo, Jeanette and Mag among others with close ties to the family.  There was a fair amount of rustling among those assembled and I contributed to that background noise with the nervous unrolling and rolling of my booklet.  On cue, music began to play and I recognized it as the song Melissa and Jo had picked out to begin the service (listen to heartbeats).  The church became eerily silent as the song caught everyone's attention.  I found myself wishing the service hadn't started yet; I wasn't ready but it began, nonetheless.  While the music was playing I could sense Robin starting to weep next to me.  I held her hand, not just to comfort her but as much for myself.

Father Xavier Barry then stepped up on the altar to the microphone that was used by the officiating priest to make himself heard.  He began: "In the name of the Father, and the son, and the holy spirit" the congregation responded "Amen." Father continued, "The grace and peace of God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ be with you" to which the assembled answered "And also with you."  Father Barry then welcomed all in attendance with an opening prayer.  I continued to have this dread that everything was moving too quickly, that we had to make this service last as long as we possibly could.

After Father Barry completed his opening prayer there was a ceremony that included the lighting of candles.  Family friend, Brianna Parbury capably handled the recitation: 

"The first candle represents our grief"

she began.  At the mention of each candle, one through four, Candi lit the wicks in succession. 

The pain of losing you is intense. 
It reminds us of the depth of our love for you. 

The second candle represents our courage. 
To confront our sorrow,
To comfort each other,
To change our lives. 

The third candle we light in your memory. 
For the times we laughed,
The times we cried,
The times we were angry with each other,
The silly things you did,
The caring joy you gave us.

The fourth candle we light for our love. 
We light this candle that your light will always shine. 
We cherish the special place in our hearts
that will always be reserved for you. 
We thank you for the gift
your living brought to each of us. 
We love you. 
We remember you

Father Barry waited for Candi and Brianna to walk back to their seats before he opened up his arms and recited his Opening Prayer.  When he completed his plea to God to safely carry Geoff home, Melissa approached the lectern.  Melissa had chosen a reading from the Book of Ecclesiastes 3:1-11, sometimes referred to as "Time for Everything".  She boldly delivered the ancient scripture:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to uproot;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

The tears were streaming down my face as Melissa walked slowly back to her seat.