Start of a Busy Monday

As I read the obituary for at least the 7th time it dawned on me that I left out my own 6 brothers and sisters and their children completely.  Geoff had 6 additional aunts, 4 uncles and 7 cousins living in Texas and New York.  I guess in my effort to make sure I included all the Australian relatives I completely zoned out on my own siblings living in America.  I knew they would understand but I felt terrible and embarrassed about it when I first realized that I had forgotten to include them.  I then heard Candi's bedroom door open. As she sleepily, yet carefully, made her way down the stairs she cried out with obvious disappointment "They didn't call me!"  We examined the new mobile phone she was clutching in her hand and discovered that the power was off.  We surmised that she must have turned the phone off inadvertently when she retired the previous night as there was plenty of battery power available.  While I prepared her coffee she tried calling Shawn's cell phone.  We were sure the birthday celebration was already in full swing.  Shawn answered the phone amidst the din of scores of patrons enjoying themselves at "Boomers". He explained they had rung Candi numerous times only to go directly into the voice mail system but didn't leave a message.  Candi asked him to bring Tanner to the telephone so she could wish him a Happy Birthday.  Tanner obligingly grabbed the phone and spent precious few moments indulging his mother in her wishes for his special day but was, no doubt, distracted by the go-karts that needed to be driven and the balls that needed swatting in the batting cages.  She reluctantly said goodbye when it was obvious he could contain his need for participation in the various activities no longer.  Candi was able to take solace in her belief that, although Tanner was badly missing her, at least he was able to enjoy himself in spite of her absence.

Candi fixed scrambled eggs for breakfast and we were dressed and ready when Robin picked us up a little after 9:00.  On the ride back to Bexley North she told us that we were to meet with Father Xavier Barry in the early afternoon as he had been recommended as a suitable replacement for the priest we met with on Saturday.  Father Barry was affiliated with the Kogarah Marist College where Geoff had attended during school years 11 and 12.   A little while after we pulled into the driveway and joined Jo and Melissa inside the house the doorbell was rung by a repairman wanting to take a look at the garage doors.  I continued to sort through the photos of Geoff with Candi that we needed for the slide show ;  Melissa and Jo were working feverishly on readying the booklet for the service so as to be able to review the content with Father Barry when he arrived.  The living/dining area of Robin and Mag's home took on the appearance of a very busy office with the 2 MacBooks and printer being shared by all of us.  There were a number of phone calls confirming details of the next couple of days, including two from Linda of WN Bull Funerals.

I spoke with Linda and she confirmed that we would be able to have a viewing of Geoff at 10:00 a.m. the next day at their facility in Newtown for anyone that wanted to attend.  For whatever reason, Linda thought it would be interesting for me to know that, although she had been raised Catholic, she had converted to Buddhism at some point in the past.  What little I knew about Buddhism included the concept of "rebirth" and that rebirth could take on any number of forms.  I was thinking, perhaps, she was trying to prepare me for the viewing the next day or maybe give me something to hold on to regarding Geoff's death.  I mentioned what I thought was an odd conversation with the agent from WN Bull to Robin.  She then told me a story about a window that was over her kitchen sink that seemed to have a mind of its own and would open or shut randomly for no apparent reason.  She laughed as she told me that she and Geoff used to make a little joke when it happened, that it was "J.K." talking to them (J.K. was Robin's deceased father).  She then said she guessed from now on it would be Geoff manipulating the window.

A while after the first phone call from Linda I received another.  She was telling me that Geoff had a 2 or 3 day growth of his beard and wanted to know should she  give him a shave.  I didn't respond to her immediately and let her know I would call back after I had spoken to Robin and Jo.  I wasn't sure if maybe the whiskers were there for aesthetic reasons or it was just a case of him not feeling well those last couple of days and he didn't get around to shaving.  In any case, I thought it was appropriate to listen to Robin and Jo's point of view.  After consulting with them I phoned Linda back to let her know that she should go ahead and give him a shave.  After I hung up the phone I remembered that I had wanted to speak with Jo about her comments at the meeting with the priest on Saturday relative to her view that Geoff had a premonition about his death.

I asked Jo to step outside the front door and I put my hands on her shoulders and looked her right in her huge brown eyes.  I told her I could not stop thinking about her response to the priest's question whether or not she thought Geoff knew he was going to die.  I told her it was important for me to understand why she felt that way, that I would not judge her for her comment or now her explanation, I just wanted to know.  She explained to me that she had been visiting Geoff that Saturday evening before he died and that when she felt like he was getting tired, was getting ready to leave and they had a little routine they would perform when parting that did not include saying "good bye" as she didn't like the term.  I never inquired about the routine itself.  On this particular evening, after their personal ritual she started to walk out of his room and he called her back.  She said he didn't say anything but that he held her hand for a few moments and when he let go she had the sense that she may never see him again, perhaps a result of unspoken communication that only exists between lovers.  Now, she said, she was sorry she didn't go back to the house in Bexley North after that evening but she thought she was doing what Geoff wanted her to do.  I hugged Jo and thanked her for once again being so honest and open with me. 

Father Xavier Barry arrived right on time just after lunch.  He was attired as one might expect an Irish Catholic priest to be on a Monday afternoon, starched white shirt, tie and all.  I assumed him to be in his early 70's but in contrast to his associate he was as sharp as a tack and very pleasant.  We spent a few minutes discussing the common ground he had with Geoff and some of Geoff's teachers and classmates at Kogarah Marist College.  After we set the table with our getting to know you conversation, Melissa presented Father with the outline of the program and discussed the script. We all knew how important music was to Geoff and how important it was to all of us to get it into the service in a respectful way but with which Geoff would have approved.  We proposed to open the service with a song that had special importance to Joanne, "Heartbeats" by Jose Gonzales (listen here  Listen to Heartbeats ) as it had special meaning to Jo in her relationship with Geoff.  Father Barry agreed with Melissa and Jo on using this song to open the service.   There was some give and take with the balance of the outline; Father Barry made suggestions of some alternate prayers and the timing of certain components but, for the most part, he agreed with the program that Melissa and Jo had slaved over for the past few days.  However, there was one particular part of the service with which Father was disagreeing about its appropriateness, the song that the girls had selected to close the service, "Burial" by Miike Snow (listen here  Listen to Burial ). 

After Geoff died Melissa and Jo cued up the music on his laptop; of its own accord this song started to play.  Melissa and Jo had a sense that Geoff had left it for them to find in just this way and that it was his wish that it be used.  I was sitting directly across the table from Father Barry as he read the lyrics for the song that were to be printed in the booklet.  Only I could see him ever so subtly shaking his head back and forth and mouthing the words "no, no, no".  He slid his glasses to the end of his nose and looked over to Melissa and asked her if it was possible to find a song that was more appropriate.  I could see the tears start to well up in Melissa's eyes as she was speechless.  Father lost eye contact with Melissa and turned back to look across the table at me, most probably looking for my support in his evaluation, and I'm sure as he caught my gaze he had the sense of running into a charging rhinoceros ready to take on anyone and everyone in its path in order to protect his family.  His eyes dropped to his hands but only for a moment.  He then looked up and said "I suppose we could leave it in, but in another place."  We quickly ascertained that what would make Father Barry more comfortable would be for him to give his final blessing; then we would have the song play as the participants left the church, following the pallbearers and Geoff.  Once we were in agreement on that procedure Father excused himself after restating a few more of the details for Wednesday and finishing his slice of cake and cup of tea that Robin had served.

Now that Melissa and Jo had a final version of the document and spent a few more minutes making sure of the layout and the use of the appropriate font (hoping Geoff would be pleased with the selection) they rushed off to a local quick printer to have the booklets made.   We were thinking that 60 copies would be enough based on the list we prepared a few days earlier but decided to have 100 printed, just in case, as the incremental cost was minimal.  Robin decided to go along with them for the ride and reminded me that I would be alone in the house with the garage door repairman in the back.  Since his only access to the back of the garage was through the living room (due to the damage to the garage's front door from the crash) he would no doubt be coming through when he was finished.  I sat down on the sofa and started listening to the music that was already playing on the stereo as I allowed my head to tilt back and closed my eyes.  The next thing I remembered was Melissa coming into the house after their trip to the printer.  The repairman was long gone.